Calgary, February 2021
Wikipedia defines adrenaline as “a hormone and medication which is involved in regulating visceral functions”, but this is not the whole story. For some people, mostly men, adrenaline can become a drug controlling their life. Philip Caputo in his excellent book A Rumour of War describes why, when he was 19, joined the US Marine Corps. “Having known nothing but security, comfort and peace, I hungered for danger, challenge and violence. The heroic experience I sought was war, war, the ultimate adventure, war, the ordinary man’s most convenient means of escaping from the ordinary.” Philip Caputo thought that war was the only way to get his adrenaline rush, but he was wrong. There are many, far less destructive, ways how to achieve the same result, for example mountain climbing. Standing on the top of a high peak, after a difficult climb, can be quite intoxicating. The satisfaction of personal achievement, of overcoming fear, creates a feeling of overall happiness; life is great. I have experienced it many times. Also, I have introduced mountain climbing to number of people; some liked it, some did not, but nobody ever said that it was boring.
Why people climb mountains? Few do it to be closer to God, some professional climbers seek fame and glory, but most people do it just for the sport of it. To escape the security, comfort and peace of the everyday life, just like Philip Caputo wanted, and experience danger and challenge, but not violence. That is where Philip Caputo was mistaken. There is no need for violence to achieve the adrenaline rush. Nevertheless, his book got me thinking: Is there a link between war and climbing mountains? At the first glance the answer is ‘no’. The purpose of those two human pursuits is diametrically opposite. In war the soldiers try to kill enemy, and by doing so they are destroying their own soul. The difficulties of the Vietnam veterans to adapt to the civilian life is the proof of that. In climbing we are trying to get closer to the mountains and enrich our soul. Mountains are our friends, not enemies, and allow us to achieve that goal. I love mountains but then, some soldiers admitted that the loved war. In the article Why Men Love War by William Broyles the author who is a Vietnam veteran, described a chance meeting with his Vietnam buddy whom he has not seen for fifteen years:
"What people can't understand," said his friend, "is how much fun Vietnam was. I loved it. I loved it, and I can't tell anybody." Later, William Broyles admitted to himself that he also loved the war. He loved it and hated it too. “And it is no mystery why men hate war”, he wrote. “War is ugly, horrible, evil, and it is reasonable for men to hate all that. But I believe that most men who have been to war would have to admit, if they are honest, that somewhere inside themselves they loved it too, loved it as much as anything that has happened to them before or since.”
Why? What is the magic which attracts men to war? Is this the same magic which attracted me to climb mountains? I never went to war, so I cannot speak from my personal experience, but the emotions described by those two authors suggest that perhaps some of the attractions of war and of mountain climbing are not all that different. For example, William Broyles describes his first combat experience: “One night not long after I had arrived in Vietnam, one of my platoon's observation on posts heard enemy movement. I was terrified. I was ashamed, and I couldn't wait for it to happen again.” The memories of my first climb are pretty similar. It was in the mountains in Slovakia where I was attending a mountaineering course. We were climbing a sharp ridge with big drops on both sites. There was no danger, we were with an experienced instructor, properly belayed by the rope, but I was trembling with fear. I was terrified but could not wait for the next day to do more of it.
Later in the book Philip Caputo describes why he requested a transfer from the staff position to the combat unit. “I cannot deny that the front still held a fascination for me. The right or wrong of the war aside, there was magnetism about combat. You seem to live more intensely under fire. Every sense is sharper, the mind works clearer and faster.” Philip Caputo might as well describe a rock climb. Standing on a little platform in the middle of a big wall, well protected by the rope connecting you to your friend, with the ground way down below, you live more intensely. Every sense is sharper, the mind works clearer and faster, just like Philip Caputo explains, but there is no fear of death. It is just a joy that life is great.
Both authors are describing the comradeship of men in war. Philip Caputo wrote: “Unlike marriage, it is a bond that cannot be broken by a word, by boredom or divorce, or by anything other than death. Individual possessions and advantage count for nothing: the group is everything. What you have is shared with your friends. It isn't a particularly selective process; it is a love that needs no reasons. It is, simply, brotherly love.”
Climbing trips are too short to develop such a bond. Also, normally only two people are involved; larger group bring complications. However, during the climb the whole world disappears and is reduced to just two of us and the mountain we climb. The family, the work, the day-to-day life, all that does not exist. Then, after the adventure is over, the memory of with whom I have climbed is more important than what we have climbed.
As I am typing those lines, I realize that indeed, the attraction of war and the attraction of mountain climbing have a lot in common. Also, I am sure that people kayaking down the wild rivers, the test pilots of Tom Wolfe’s book Right Stuff, people traversing Antarctica on foot, all of them experience similar feelings. We are all attracted to danger and need our adrenalin rush. However, there is one urge which only war can satisfy. It is the pleasure of destroying and killing. There is no point in denying that it exists. The Gladiator spectacles of the old Rome, the public executions, the popularity of the death sentence, the endless TV cops and robbers shows, all that proves that people like to watch violence. But there is a huge difference between just watching it and actually doing it. The scary part is that even normal, non-violent men like the two authors I mentioned can be pushed to enjoy killing. Philip Caputo wrote: “There was hatred, a hatred buried so deep that I could not then admit its existence. I can now, though it is still painful. I burned with a hatred for Viet Cong and with an emotion that dwells in most of us, one closer to the surface than we care admit: a desire for retribution. I did not hate the enemy for their politics, but for murdering Simpson, for executing that boy whose body had been found in the river, for blasting the life out of Walt Levy. I wanted a chance to kill somebody.” I am very happy that those feelings are not part of mountain climbing. I am also glad that my adrenaline rush was not related to war.