Calgary, March 2020
Paul was a talented computer programmer working for a large research firm in Silicon Valley, California. He always did a good job and was respected by his colleagues. His best friend and coworker Mark, was really impressed by Paul’s ability to always discover weak points of any project and suggest the correct solutions. Sometimes, after work, they both went for a beer to the nearby pub and talked shop without being disturbed by the usual office interruptions. They liked their work, both were single, nobody was waiting for them and there was no reason to rush home. But, and there always is a ‘but,’ Paul was lonely. Unlike Mark, who had no problem finding female company, Paul was shy. He had a few short flings, but he wanted a romantic relationship that would last. Mark was making fun of him, pointing out that the days of Romeo and Juliet were over, but deep down he was worried about his friend. Paul would be an easy target for a greedy woman, and as it turned out, Mark was right.
One day Paul asked Mark if, instead of going to the usual pub, could he please come to one of the high-class restaurants in the neighbourhood. He would like to introduce him to someone special; her name was Olivia and she found Paul on the Internet. Paul presented Olivia as the woman Paul always wanted, the one who could give him companionship and love, but Mark was not sure. To him, Olivia looked more like a typical gold digger who wanted to upgrade her lifestyle to the middle-class, offering nothing in return. She could give Paul companionship, that was true, but love was something else. Mark did not say anything as he did not want to hurt his friend, but later on during their usual beer sessions, there was less shop talk and more about Paul, Olivia, and their relationship. Mark warned his friend to be careful. Paul knew very little about Olivia, did not know her background, her character, and most importantly, he did not know her intentions. Mark, who knew much more about women than Paul, did not have a good feeling about Olivia, but Paul was smitten. He was convinced that he finally found the love of his life. He was as blind as so many men who were caught, and will be caught in future, in what is known as a "honey trap.”
In the beginning all was well. Olivia quit her job as a secretary in a real estate company, moved into Paul’s apartment and started the life of a housewife, even though she was only a girlfriend. It did not matter; they were happy together. In the mornings she made breakfast, and Paul went to work. Olivia did various chores, and when Paul came home, dinner and a glass of wine were ready. They spent the rest of the evening talking, making plans, or watching movies on TV, and the nights were even better. Paul loved that routine and hoped that it would last forever, but nothing lasts forever. The problems started when Paul asked Olivia if she wanted to go back to work and Olivia retaliated by hinting at getting married. The conversation went something like this:
"Why don’t you look for a job? We could use your salary as a down payment for a house,” mentioned Paul.
"I am not qualified, I only have a high school diploma. As a secretary I was making very little.”
"You can take a course and get a better qualification. There are lots of opportunities.”
"I was always bad at school; I am not the studious type like you are.”
After a brief pause, Olivia continued:
"Suppose we do buy a house. We are not married, the house would be written in your name and if we split, I would get nothing.”
"This is not true. In the common law marriage, the woman has the same rights as in the traditional marriage.”
"That may be true, but if we were married there would be no doubts.”
"I like it the way it is now,” Paul ended the discussion.
To make things worse, there was another problem:
"Ever thought about having children?” asked Paul during one of those romantic evenings.
"We are not ready. Your apartment is small, we do not have a house and you do not make enough money to support a family.”
"Other families have children with less income than what I make.”
"Other families might, but I am not one of them.” That was the end of the discussion from Olivia’s point of view.
There was a tension growing between them, until one day Olivia came with a suggestion: "Suppose I do go to work, and we can make a down payment on a house. In that case I suggest we rent it out. That will bring additional income and besides, the value of real estate always goes up.”
"OK, but who will do all the work related to owning a rental property? There will be problems with tenants, with repairs, maintenance, cleaning and similar. Who will do all that? I am busy at work; I do not want to be involved in any of that.”
"I will do it,” declared Olivia resolutely.
Paul was not happy about the idea. He was good at discovering weak points of any project, and this one had many. How much will the mortgage be? How much will they collect from the tenants? How much will the maintenance, cleaning and other expenses cost? Will the tenants pay? If not, what could be done? But, if Olivia would indeed get a job and do all that work, he would not object.
Olivia was very enthusiastic. She knew that house prices were climbing rapidly. For example, in 2003 in California the value of a $200,000 house raised to $260,000, a gain of 35%, in just one year. Compared to the $60,000 of Paul’s yearly salary, real estate looked to be a much better deal. So, with all those dollar signs in her eyes, Olivia found a job and was putting her salary into a separate account, but it was slow going. She was making close to the minimum wage, and her savings reflected that. It would be years before she would have enough money for a down payment. Paul, who never wanted to be involved in that, would have to help.
"Paul, there is something important I want to discuss with you,” she started the conversation.
"What is it, darling?”
"You know my plan with renting a house. If you would contribute something to my account, we can start right away.”
"I don’t want to have anything to do with that, as I said many times before.”
"Yes, but I showed you the numbers. We can be rich.”
"I do not believe those numbers.”
"But why? They are correct, look at the statistics.”
"They are correct now, but who knows what will happen in two or three years.”
"Believe me, the value of real estate never goes down.”
Paul was a good computer programmer, but he was not a fighter. He would rather give in than argue, so he asked: "How much do you want?”
It was a large sum which would wipe out most of their savings, but there was another problem.
"If we buy a house, in whose name will it be registered?” asked Olivia.
"As you know, I don’t want to have anything to do with it, so it will be in your name”
"But most of the money will be yours. Besides, the mortgage company will want some collateral and I have nothing to offer.”
"So, what do you suggest?”
"If we get married, then it could be registered to the wife and husband. Also, you have a good salary and the mortgage company will accept that as a collateral.”
At this point Paul should have said:
"No, Olivia. I will not invest into a questionable venture, and I am definitely not going to get married because of it. If you want to continue with your project, you are on your own.” But Paul said none of that. He hated arguments and preferred to give in. He gave Olivia the money, they got married, and Olivia bought a house with four apartments to rent. The mortgage was high but was easily approved. In those days anybody could get whatever mortgage they wanted.
The problems started right away. The building needed repairs. Then it had to be registered as a rental property and advertised for renting. When the tenants came, collecting rent was a never-ending struggle. Olivia requested the payment one month in advance, so the new tenants paid for one month, but that was all. When Olivia came to collect for the next month, they had all kinds of excuses, continued to stay until threatened with eviction, and then one night disappeared, leaving the apartment in a terrible mess, which Olivia had to clean. This pattern repeated with depressing regularity. On paper the value of their property was increasing, that was true, but it did not help. The mortgage plus various unexpected expenses had to be paid on time and the rental income was not enough. That meant more loans and more debt. Also, the workload of running the business was way more than Olivia expected. She could not do it alone.
"Paul, I cannot do it all by myself, I need your help,” demanded Olivia, looking tired and depressed.
"I am busy at work, as you know,” replied Paul.
"You have to take some time off, until the business settles into a manageable routine.”
"You want me to quit my job to become a landlord? You must be crazy.”
This was the first time Paul said "no” to Olivia. She was taken by surprise but retaliated swiftly. There were no more breakfasts like she used to make, nor dinners with wine, and no sex. Paul was truly lost; he did not know what to do and needed to talk to someone. He asked his friend Mark to go with him to their favorite pub and there Paul opened his heart to him:
"Mark, my marriage is collapsing,” said Paul, almost crying. "She wants me to quit my job to become a landlord. I don’t know what to do.”
"That is crazy. You are the last person who could be a landlord, you know nothing about that type of business. Don’t do it.”
"I know, but she is making my life miserable. I don’t know how long I can resist.”
"You can sell the property. With the current real estate market, you will make a lot of money.”
"She will not go for it, she is greedy. She thinks that the 35% increase in value per year will last forever.”
"Nothing lasts forever. Paul, for once you have to do it your way. Tell her to sell it and if she refuses, you can ask for a divorce.”
"I do not want a divorce, I still love her, despite everything.”
"There are other women you can love. You are still young, with a good job and a good salary. Many women will find you attractive.”
"Yes, I know you are right. I wish I was as strong as you are, but I am not. I do not have the will to resist.”
"If you don’t, she will destroy your life,” were Mark’s parting words.
Olivia also knew that Paul did not have the will to resist, and she was right. Within two weeks Paul relented. He handed a notice to his employer and said goodbye to Mark, who repeated his warning. Paul knew that Mark was right, but he had no strength to fight with Olivia, so he became a landlord. He hated it, was not good at it, and frequently argued with his wife. She accused him of not showing any interest in the business and not putting enough effort into it. Paul’s surrender to Olivia’s pressure did not improve their marriage, on the contrary, it made it worse. Paul continued suggesting selling the property and returning to their old life, but Olivia refused. She wanted to wait until the value increases even more.
Then came the year 2008. In Southern California the house prices dropped to the 2002 level, and the recession hit Silicon Valley. Massive layoffs caused the unemployment to rise to almost 10%. There was no hope that Paul and Olivia could ever pay the mortgage and their debts, so the only option was to declare bankruptcy. They could keep Paul’s old apartment and a car; the rest was repossessed by the bank. Paul tried to get his old job back, but the company was not hiring. Mark’s warning: "If you don’t have the will to resist, she will destroy your life” became painfully true. Paul could blame Olivia for all his misfortune, but he did not do it. It wouldn't make any difference. Did he still love her? He was not sure anymore. Olivia, on the other hand, did not have such a dilemma. She would leave Paul for a rich man without any hesitation. The problem was, no rich man showed any interest, and Olivia had nothing to offer. Not even her youth, which slipped by during her life with Paul, but Olivia was confident that one day she will become rich.