Calgary, March 2025
John grew up in what couldn’t be called an affluent family. His parents, Henry and Diana Smith, owned a small farm in a small village, and life was hard. The yields from the farm hardly covered expenses, and John’s parents had no help from anybody. The grandparents were too old, and John was too little to be of any use. Also, and that was unusual, John was the only child. Perhaps Diana was too tired and didn’t want more children. In any case, as soon as John was old enough, he was feeding animals, watering plants, collecting eggs, helping with harvesting, and he hated it all. He wanted to play. But with no brothers or sisters, and spending most of the time helping parents, he didn’t have much fun. John was not a happy child.
The school brought some relief. He was among children, and teachers showed him a world outside the farm. Also, as soon as he learned to read, he brought home books from the school library and spent all his free time reading. But his father didn't like it. “Why are you wasting time reading? Do something useful,” he kept saying.
“I want to learn more about the world,” was John’s usual response.
“You don’t need to learn more about the world. Your world is here.”
John didn’t argue, he was an obedient child, but he hoped his dad was wrong. The farm wasn’t his world. He also knew that to escape it, he had to learn about the outside world his dad didn’t like. Therefore, he studied, was good at school, but that didn’t go well with his fellow students. “Teacher’s pet,” they called him. Now John was a double outcast. At home, because he was reading too much, and at school, because of his good marks at the exams.
John was growing and doing more and more work on the farm. "One day you will inherit it, therefore you must know how to run it,” his father was saying. I hope not, John was thinking, but he didn’t say it. He didn't like confrontations. Then came the last year of high school, John graduated and secretly applied to the university in the nearby city. He got accepted, and that brought him to the most important confrontation of his life.
“Mom and Dad, I have something to tell you.” He knew that what will follow will be very unpleasant.
“What?” asked his dad.
“I wouldn’t be staying here, and I wouldn’t take over the farm.”
“What do you mean?”, his father looked annoyed.
“I was accepted at the university, and I will go there to study.”
“If you do that, I will disown you.” His dad was red with fury.
“And who will look after the farm?” asked his mom. “We are getting old; we cannot do it all ourselves.”
“You can sell the farm to the neighbour. He would add it to his land and, I am sure, would let you stay in your house. With the money you will get, plus the food you will grow, you could have a comfortable life.”
"But what about you? Where will you get the money? The university is expensive."
“I am entitled to a scholarship, plus there are student loans.”
“I will never sell the family farm! It belonged to us for generations! If you leave, I will give it to our church.” Henry was more and more furious.
John expected something like that and was prepared for it.
“I am sorry you feel that way, I was hoping for friendlier parting. But I am leaving tomorrow, I already have the bus ticket.”
Right after John arrived in the city, he went to the Student Services office of the university to apply for a scholarship, student loan and accommodation. Then he went to the bank to create an account and to ask for a small loan to get him through until his applications were processed. The semester was about to start, and John enjoyed the university environment where reading and studying were encouraged, not frowned upon like at home. He also wrote several letters to his parents, hoping that with time his dad's fury would subside, but there was no reply. Then he got a short letter from his mom asking him to stop writing. "Every time Dad sees your letter, he becomes very upset," she wrote, and John lost all contact with his family.
Semesters followed, and John was busy studying, passing exams, and in summers doing jobs students usually do, like cashier, receptionist or working in restaurants or bars. He also found himself a girlfriend, Judy, who was also a student at that university. Then came graduation, John was awarded a degree in engineering, got a job, married Judy, and with both of them working, they could afford a nice apartment, a good car and some of the pleasures a city can offer. Then came the first child, and John made a decision. One Sunday afternoon, when he knew his parents would be at home, he put Judy and the child in the car and drove to his parent's farm. Then he held the little kid in his arms, and, with Judy behind him, rang the bell. His mom opened and before she could say anything, John gave her the child to hold and said: “Now is the time for my parents to see my wife and their first grandson.” Diana couldn’t resist holding the child close to her chest, then she kissed her son, but Henry yelled: “Get out of my house!”
“Perhaps we should leave,” said Judy, and John asked his mom to come for a little walk. They went to a park, and he talked about his life in the city, his graduation and his job. “You could visit us any time you want,” he invited his mom. Then they went back to the house, John and family drove home and Diane returned to the frosty atmosphere of her house.
“Aren’t you proud of your son? Did you see the nice car he has? He certainly has a better life than what he could have here,” she said to stop Henry from blowing up again.
Henry knew his wife was right. John made the correct decision to leave the farm, but he couldn’t admit it. The humiliation of being wrong was too much.
“You are with him against me," he yelled. "Now I lost not only my son but also my wife." Henry felt very sorry for himself.
“But look, John is our only son. We don’t have anybody else. You spend years hating him, and I think it’s enough. Now we have a grandchild, and we could be family again.” Diana tried to calm her husband, to make him see the reason, but he wouldn’t listen. “I don’t have a son anymore,” he said.
There wasn’t much Diana could do. She got herself a mailbox to communicate with John in private, and from time to time she visited him to see her grandchild. Henry was still working at the farm, alone, and it was harder and harder for him.
“We can sell the farm and retire,” Diana suggested more than once, but Henry refused. “I wouldn’t sell the family possession to anybody.” Therefore, he kept on working, Diana spent more and more time visiting John and playing with her grandchild, and Henry was more and more bitter. Now it was he who was an outcast but, unlike John, for him, there was no way out. He would have to admit he was wrong, and that was something Henry would never do.